364
by Mummyluvr
Summary: 364 days. he has 364 days left to live, and he's going to make it count. With luck, he'll get everything he'd ever wanted, father and little brother included. Oneshot with spoilers for AHBL2.


Honestly, how can you NOT write anything about that last episode?

**Title:** 364

**Summary: **364 days. he has 364 days left to live, and he's going to make it count. With luck, he'll get everything he'd ever wanted, father and little brother included. One-shot with spoilers for AHBL2.

**Rating: **K

**Warnings:** Spoilerage (is that even a word?) for 'All Hell' Part 2. You have been warned.

**Disclaimer:** OK, so I'm loving Kripke for what he did to Dean. You know why? He owns SN. I don't. So sad.

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364

Shadows played across the walls of the motel room as Sam snored softly and Dean lay awake looking up at the ceiling. He sighed, glancing over at the digital alarm clock that sat on a small table between the beds.

364 days.

He had 364 days left to live, to try and make things right, to try and save his brother. He wasn't even sure Sammy still needed saving, not since the demon was dead.

A shiver ran up Dean's spine, even though he had a large pile of blankets on top of him. It had taken a second for him to pull the trigger, a second for the bullet to hit its mark, as second for the creature to fall. In that single second, Dean's world nearly fell apart. Again.

They'd been hunting shadows in Chicago when Sam had told him the news. As soon as the demon was dead, he was going back to Stanford. No ifs, ands, or buts. He was leaving. He didn't want things to be the way they had been, didn't want the old family back. He wanted to be normal and safe and happy and loved.

The demon had fallen, and Dean had realized his mistake. He'd spent the whole car ride home from the cemetery waiting for Sam to make the announcement, to say that it was time for him to move on.

After all, without the demon around, he was safe. Home free. No longer at risk of turning evil.

Dean had been dead sure he was going to spend the final 364 days of his life alone. But Sam hadn't said anything, hadn't tried to leave, had just talked about being the savior for once in the relationship.

That didn't sound too bad. 364 more days with family. That would be like a lifetime, wouldn't it? And maybe that wouldn't even be the end.

He'd seen his father, seen his idol disappear in a blinding light and a cloud of smoke. What that meant, Dean wasn't sure. He wanted to be able to tell Sam that their father was finally at rest, spending a peaceful eternity beside their mother. He also wanted that to be false.

Dean didn't want to be alone. It was what had gotten him into this whole mess in the first place, that desperate need to have someone to cling to like a lifeline. He didn't want his father to have moved on, wanted the man to be there waiting for him in Hell. Eternity together, father and son, nothing to tear them apart.

He wanted it so bad. He knew it was selfish, but he wanted it. He _deserved_ it. He'd given everything for his family, including his soul. He should be able to get something out of it.

364 days.

He got 364 days with Sam, and Sam knew. He'd asked, and Dean hadn't lied. 364 days left, and they were planning on making the most of it. Hopefully, that would ease the pain, let them both prepare for the end. It would be better. Not so sudden.

And after that? Well, that all depended on John.

He sighed, glancing over at Sam's still form in the other bed, horrible images flashing through his mind. Blood, so much blood, and Sam falling into his arms, leaning into him, head lolling, breath hitching, eyes closing…

He turned away, facing the wall, willing the images away. No matter what, he wasn't about to let that happen again. He wasn't going to be responsible for his baby brother's death twice. Because, let's face it, if he hadn't have shown up when he did, hadn't acted as a distraction, they wouldn't be in this mess.

364 days, and he got them with Sam. But something was wrong with Sam. Sam had killed. He'd killed another person, and that just wasn't right.

It wasn't right, but it _was_ justifiable. After all, Jake had given into the demon's desires, stabbed Sam, told him that he'd been killed, and then nearly killed Ellen. It was part self-defense, part defense of an innocent, and definitely ok. Dean would have done the same.

He had 364 more days to tell himself that, to convince himself that demons lied, even if they never had in the past.

He closed his eyes, trying not to think about that, about anything. He was going to live in the moment, make every second of every day count. Whatever happened, happened. Whatever the future might hold, he was ready to face it. Whatever became of his soul, he had asked for it, and he wouldn't change a thing.

Maybe Sam would stay now. Maybe John was still in Hell. Maybe the demon would forget. Maybe time would stop and 364 days wouldn't matter anymore. Maybe selfishness would finally pay off.

Maybe, just maybe, in the time it took for destiny to come and swallow him whole into a gaping pit of fire and despair, he could forget he was broken. Maybe 364 days wasn't such a bad deal after all.

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That's it. THE END.

So, any comments? Please? (I'm making the puppy-dog face)


End file.
